‘You can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts’: The humorous and unprecedented tale of two workplace cats that triggered a formal hr complaint and staff-assigned “cat tutoring” duties

Author image for Laurent Shinar
Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Oct 21, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Look, we do not want to discriminate between cats, but there is no denying that orange cats have a certain something lacking in their brains. Call it brain cells, common sense or whatever else, the truth is that there is something lacking up there that does not allow them to operate correctly. And while this can be rather hilarious at times, it also puts them in some rather stuck situations. Like the orange cat (Jorts) in this story, who had a particularly problematic problem with doors.

And while you might think that this story is about a cute cat overcoming their difficulties, this is actually the story of a half brained hooman who for whatever reason thought that they could train Jorts to be better. The extent to which they were deliciously wrong and the ensuing stupidity that unfolded is truly out of this world. 

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  • 01
    We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a
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    tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition. Jorts is just... kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can't open a door even when it's ajar- he
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    shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.
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  • Oh Jorts, what a wonderfully appropriate name for such a simply and silly feline. We have all come across such kitties that seem to be born without even a single brain cell to keep things ticking over. But we have to say that this might be bordering on insanity. As Einstein once defined it to be one’s repeated attempts to do the same thing, while expecting different results. 

  • 04
    My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example it's a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed.
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    Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can't open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.
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    Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.
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    "THIRES
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    Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the "chance to learn" and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased
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    them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he's just dumb af and we can't change that.
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    Don't get me wrong ― watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I
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    made a gentle joke about "you can't expect Jean's tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts" which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went
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  • Wow, well, what can you truly expect from someone with such a Karen-like name? This Pam character, much like Jorts, most likely does not have enough brain power to understand that Jorts has not got a chance in heck of learning how to operate he doors like Jean does. Heck, we are kinda surprised that Pam knows how to operate a door…

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    home early. In her email Pam said I was "perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb" and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don't think it's relevant but just
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    in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).
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    Thanks for responding to my query which had truly upset me. I work to have a good relationship with my team and the situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.
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    I just met with HR, she had already met with Pam. HR was concerned about Pam's comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving a cat a doorstop and they addressed that which went well. HR will follow up to make sure Pam
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    understands. (The replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.) HR also addressed Pam assigning other staff Jorts-related tutoring, as it is not appropriate for Pam to assign others work. This also went
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    well. We both think Pam had a hard time with the transition from volunteer to staff, and may have "new kid" sensitivity projected to Jorts. Pam got emotional about her perception that |
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    favor Jean over Jorts and gave specific examples. Some of these things are fair. Jorts deserves respect as a member of our team. There are 3 buildings in our workplace. Jean and Jorts are limited to
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    one. HR told me there were 5 holdouts about vaccines, and restricting unvaccinated people from entering the building (to protect Jean and Jorts) was enough to win over 4 of them. That's CRAZY, but great.
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    More importantly: the cats' presence greatly enhances our work with our clients, and Jorts' friendly nature has been so great. Both cats truly are doing important work. Truly Jorts deserves to be treated with respect.
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    We all deserve to be treated with dignity at work, so I will apologize to Jorts about some things that were insensitive or disrespectful.
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    a. Jean has a nice cat bed with her name on it, while Jorts has chosen an old boot tray in my office with a towel in it. Recently a visitor put wet boots in the boot tray and Pam saw Jorts sleeping on the wet boots. I bought a bed for
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    Jorts today and a name tag has been ordered. b. I will apologize to Jorts and remove the sign saying "DAYS SINCE JORTS HAD A TRASH CAN MISHAP: 0" Jorts likes to fish dirty paper cups out and
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    he often falls into the bin or gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. (He is able to get out of the bin by tipping it over so it isn't a safety issue.) c. Jean's "staff bio" has a photo of Jean, while Jorts' bio has a photo of a sweet
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    potato. I did not actually know either cat had a staff bio, but we will use a photo of Jorts instead of a sweet potato. HR also suggested changing Pam's duties so she is "in charge" of the cats.
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    This I refused, the cats are my staff, not Pam's. I think Pam was well-intended but actually not meeting the needs of either Jean or Jorts so they remain under my supervision. (Pam is also not to put cups on Jorts' head or
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    intentionally put him into frustrating situations given his unique needs.) Lastly, and this made us both laugh so hard we can't deal with it in person and will be said via email: Pam admits that she has been putting
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    margarine on Jorts in an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed (which required a vet visit). Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of
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    her coworkers. Jean has shown she is willing to be in charge of helping Jorts stay clean. If this task becomes onerous for Jean, we can have a groomer help. I am crying laughing typing this.
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    I got increasingly nervous about "Pam" and HR decided we had to have a team meeting. First of all, the world is NOT sick of Jorts and Jean, but HR sure is sick of me.
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    Pam is pretty "offline" so had not heard of any of it. We selected a variety of fan art and some of the nicer comments to show Pam and it went fine. We were all very sternly reminded of our stringent worksite privacy
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    policies. Pam wanted to send a letter to the Jorts and Jean fan website and legal counsel redacted the letter which is here: Letter From Pam. The absolute disgust from legal counsel was palpable.
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    Pam is glad "our little cats" have so many new friends. Legal counsel told me to knock it off with all of this bt. Someone gave Jorts a pipe cleaner.
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    Big relief overall because I did not want to hurt Pam's feelings, not to mention I really thought I might get fired because I doubled down so much on Jorts and Jean content. (I regret nothing.)
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humor hr tutoring smart triggered reddit story tortoise formal cat story orange cats complaint workplace Cats
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